Why?

Why is it sooo easy to gain weight?
Why is it SOOO hard to loose it?
Why is it sooo Expensive to eat healthy?
but cheaper to eat boxed food?
Why is it hard to be motivated to move?
Why is it hard to eat an apple over chocolate?
why....why...why!...arg!

I am DETERMINED to get the BABY weight OFF...my baby is almost 5 and since I had 4 kids in a 5 year span...I didn't ever do much weight loss in between babies....so that means LOTS to get off! I have started Weight Watchers and LOVE it most days! I have these HORRIBLE chocolate cravings...even worse than my Diet Pepsi cravings!!!  I make treats for the family and have to hide them from MYSELF!!! I did a very good my first 6 weeks with an average of 2.2 lbs a week...then last week hit! I gained! ARG...even if it was a stupid 1/2 a pound NO big deal you say! Well it put me in a bad mood! I find that when I loose or hit certain weight goals I get more motivated...when I gain....specially when I am stuffing myself with salads, fruit and veggies, lean meats, minimal carbs and NO junk (well chocolate isn't considered JUNK...lol...I am eating only DARK chocolate and plain...no nuts, caramel, nugget, peanut butter... :(....) and I GAIN!!! I know this is to be expected...I was sooo mad that if it wouldn't of been Dallin's birthday and had dinner waiting at home, I would of hit the drive thru at McD's! arg! This week I have been even worse! I have not ONCE tracked a single thing that has gone into my mouth...yes...I have serious guilt! I am terribly AFRAID to go weigh in tonight!!! I finally AFTER 9 years I HIT a weight I have not been!!!! and I am sooo scared to think I am back up! But did I do anything to prevent that this week! NOPE pretty sure not! Which makes me even MADDER AT slacker ME!!! okay...SO Yesterday...I decided to suck it up and RE-COMMIT!!! I am going to do this!!! (even if I think it may kill me!) I doubt I will post about it to often....but I am going to get with the program and me a healthier me...I want to be healthier for my kids and family....I feel pretty good about life in general and emotionally I am doing better now than I was 8 years ago! Back then I was always pregnant and emotional! lol! I just want to do things ...you know...BETTER....So my TACKLE it TUESDAY is this

I am on day 2 of this!!! And it hurts me! LOL...does it ever! I am just a lowly first leveler...and will work my way slowly to the 2nd level....and then the 3rd...but right now I have to talk, really, really, talk myself into doing the first level...20 minutes every (YES every it is the 30 day shred) day....we will SEE where I am in 30 days! LOL!!! So here's to dumping all those WHYS into the trash and saying to myself "WHY NOT!"